


heart eyes, motherfucker

by a_good_soldier



Series: HANDLING EXPRESSIONS OF WINCHESTER EMOTION: A FIELD GUIDE (or: supernatural s12 codas) [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, Episode: s12e15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 14:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_good_soldier/pseuds/a_good_soldier
Summary: Dean accidentally ends his call with Cas by saying "Love you" instead of "Let us know."That's it that's the fic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ok, so we get sam saying "love you" to mary at literally the exact same second dean says "let us know" to cas, and you're telling me i'm NOT supposed to write a mildly canon divergent coda where sam and dean say "love you" in perfect stereo? heck no!
> 
> references the "i love you" that wasn't from the original 8x17 script. because x-treme s12 queerbaiting has me going back to the good ol' days of regular s8 queerbaiting. title obviously from the iconic heart eyes motherfucker vine

“Love you too,” Sam says, and blinks when he hears it echoed behind him. He says his goodbyes to Mary, and turns to Dean.

Dean gives him a look. The ‘what, is my skin green, god damn it Sam, stop  _ looking _ at me like that’ look. “What?”

“Who were you talking to?”

“Cas. Apparently someone’s killing angels again.” Dean doesn’t look too concerned, so everything’s probably cool for now, which leaves Sam with his original question.

Leaves Sam with a question that’s both more and less confusing now that he knows the other person was Cas. “Yeah, but, on the phone, uh.” This is awkward. Maybe he shouldn’t bring it up? Is this going to be weird? But his mouth is moving before he realizes what he’s doing. “Did you say… love you? To Cas?”

Dean opens his mouth, and Sam can see the moment when he realizes his denial has no merit. “Oh.”

“Look, dude, it’s fine, I was just askin’—”

“Shit.” Dean looks at his phone in dawning horror, and then back at Sam.  _ “Shit.” _

Sam blinks. “Are you… wait.” No. “Did you say it…  _ accidentally?” _ It’s so absurdly  _ Dean _ that Sam is utterly unsurprised. Jesus Christ, of course he did. “Are you for real, man?”

Dean shoves the phone in his pocket. “Shut up,” he mutters. “It’s not a big deal.”

“You literally told Cas you  _ loved him, _ on the phone,  _ accidentally, _ like a month after he pulled out the big L word while he was dying! This is kind of a big deal!” Sam’s eyes widen. “Wait, is this the first time you’ve said it?  _ Wait, _ is it, like, romantic?” Dean starts to walk away. “Dude! Are you and Cas  _ dating?” _

Dean shoves Sam away just as Sam catches up. “I’m not answering that,” he says, which is code for  _ I don’t understand my feelings and I’m scared of them. _ Dean thinks it’s code for  _ none of your business, _ but honestly at that point it’s not really a code, and Sam’s pretty good at digging deeper.

It hasn’t served him well in finding little brother teasing fodder for a couple decades now, so Sam’s pretty excited about this gold mine. “For real, dude,” Sam says, keeping pace. “What’s the deal?”

They both pause at the buzzing in Dean’s pocket. He pulls out the phone, reads the name, and declines the call. Sam can guess who it is. “There is no deal,” Dean says, “and also, leave it the hell alone.”

Sam grins. “More like I should leave it the  _ heaven _ alone, right?”

“Are you serious?” Dean turns to face him, all faux-piety on his face and in his voice. “There is a dead kid somewhere around here.” He pauses. “Also, I’m seriously ashamed of you. That joke was terrible.”

Sam doesn’t let that deter him, since Dean’s made worse cracks at funerals. “Look,” he says, “I just wanna know if I’m gonna be hearing wedding bells next month. Are you gonna get a dog? Do I have to worry about little adopted angel babies running around the bunker?” He blinks. “Shit, should I stock up on earplugs?”

Dean snaps. “No, because I’m not dating Cas and I said it as an accident and we’re never talking about this again, okay? Okay!” He turns to the sheriff, who’s been awkwardly avoiding entering their conversation for the past five minutes. “Sheriff, please. Give us the rundown.”

_ Well _ , Sam thinks sarcastically. _ That’s that, then. _

* * *

Dean can’t say he’s surprised to see Cas waiting outside the bunker when they arrive. Sam seems to have gotten his giddy kissy-faces out of his system in the car, just nodding a hello at Cas and leaving them alone.

Figures Sam develops a respect for privacy when Dean really, really doesn’t want him to.

“Hey, Cas.” It comes out rougher than he means it to, voice aggravated from the half hour of shutting down Sam and singing along to Lightning’s Hand at full volume. (An underrated classic, in Dean’s opinion. Sam doesn’t get an opinion when he’s being a snotty little bro. Hey, them’s the facts, Dean don’t make the rules.)

“Dean.” Cas looks at him, and Dean figures he’s gonna say it — why wouldn’t he, Cas isn’t exactly known for tact — but he must think the better of it, because he just says, “I didn’t mean to make you wait outside.”

“I, uh—” Dean cuts himself off as Cas opens the door from the garage for him.

They walk in awkward silence to the kitchen, where Sam is conspicuously absent. “You want anything?” Dean pokes around the fridge, hoping to buy some time. Hoping Cas brings it up first. Maybe Cas won’t even bring it up! Maybe this is a totally unrelated visit, which makes sense, because Cas totally just hangs out in the bunker… for fun…

“Did you mean it?”

Dean bumps his head on the fridge as he startles back to look at Cas. Cas, whose face is giving away nothing. “Uh…” Great start, Winchester. “I mean—”

“It’s a yes or no answer, Dean.” Then Cas gets that sly smirk on his face, and Dean’s already got the eye roll on deck. “Should be pretty easy, even for you.”

And Dean’s eyes go rolling back right on schedule. “Way to cut a guy down when he’s makin’ an effort,” Dean laughs, mostly at himself. Entirely at himself, actually.

Cas snorts. “Effort? Where?” It’s half-hearted, though, not exactly a joke when it’s true.

Dean pops open the cap of his beer — so what, he’s had a tough day, sue him — in the lightly amused silence that follows. “Look, Cas,” he starts, not even sure where he’s going with it, but Cas interrupts him.

“If you didn’t mean it, or if you—” and Cas looks a little worried, now, which tells Dean he’s gotta pay attention, “—if you meant it in a… a different way, then. Don’t worry about it.”

A different way. A different way from  _ what, _ Dean wants to ask, but he knows what. He’s just been trying to avoid thinking about it. “I—” It’s easy, Dean, you text it to Mom all the time. Deal with what kind of love later. He drinks some beer. “I meant it,” he finally gets out, quiet, like he’s embarrassed. Which is really what you want to sound like when you’re saying something important.

Cas thinks so too, since his mouth turns down at the corners in that faintly disapproving way he’s mastered. “If you’re just saying that because I said it first—”

“What?” No way. “Dude, no—”

“—if this is just— just pity for the dying creature who couldn’t even—”

_ “Cas.” _ Dean can’t listen to this. “Cas, I—”

“It was an accident. An accident, but not a lie. I understand.” Cas gives him the half-smile that never failed to make Meg melt, back when Megstiel (Dean represses a shudder at the thought) was a thing. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Damn it, Cas, I—” Pull out the big guns, Winchester, say something useful for once— “It’s been years.”

_ I’ve loved you for years _ was what he  _ meant _ to say, but hey. Pick your battles.

Cas gets the gist, at any rate, since he actually looks surprised for the first time in this whole godforsaken mess of a conversation. “Really?” He looks awed. It’s not a look Dean’s used to getting.

“Yeah, I—” Dean swallows. He still thinks about this, even now, four years later. Jesus. “When you— remember the angel tablet? When Naomi made you—”

Cas looks down. “Yes. I remember.”

Dean scratches at the bottle label, remembering Cas beating the shit out of him. Remembering how stupidly grateful he’d been in spite of it, just for the attention after weeks of nothing and Cas’s noticeable distance. “When I said—” It’s still humiliating to think about. On his knees, waiting for Cas to end it. And— and  _ glad, _ damn it all, glad that he’d at least gotten this much, but mostly angry. Mostly scared. “I said I needed you.”

Castiel takes a step closer. “Yes,” he grates out.

“I was going to say—” Don’t say ‘it,’ Dean, say the words, come on— “I love you.”

Cas’s head snaps up as Dean breathes in. Okay, that happened. That was real. “I didn’t— I didn’t know if that would, if that’d make a difference, or maybe I was too—” Dean looks away from Cas’s stare. “So I said I needed you instead. That’s true, too. But just— just so you know.”

Cas’s hand flexes, like he was going to reach for something and couldn’t. “I’ll never forget—” his voice breaks, and Jesus, Dean feels for the guy. Hell, as it turns out, Dean feels  _ love _ for the guy, which is. Terrifying. “You broke Naomi’s connection. It was you.”

Dean’s almost grateful it took them this long to get here — frustrated, too, because shit, seems like they could’ve been going somewhere with this half a decade ago, but. He’s grateful because he’s tired. He’s tired of dancing around it. Now the words are out, he’s good and ready to get on with whatever this is going to be. “So.” Fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it. “We gonna kiss or what?”

It comes out more quippy and less honest than he wants it to, but Cas gets the idea. “Well, I dunno,” Cas says, walking closer, mouth finally turning back up at the edges, “are we?”

Dean snorts. “Jesus, you fuckin’ dork,” he laughs, right into their first kiss.

* * *

 

And if, from just outside the doorway, Sam sends a heart emoji-laden snapchat of that kiss to Jody and the girls, well. Maybe Dean can let it slide, just this once.


End file.
